Therapy? For me?
I just want to talk to [redacted] and tell them all my feelings. So stupid. I feel bad. They're worried about me. And yea that is kinda nice to know that someone out there doesn't just not give a damn about me. But at the same time, I don't want them feeling like that. Worried about me. That's no way to treat your closest friends. To burden them with worry.
Spent a solid 2 minutes staring at myself in the mirror. I'm losing it. Just staring. And staring back at myself. Staring into my eyes. Thinking “is this it? Is this real? Is this me and the reality and all of it? This is everything I am and have known. This is the life I lead and the way I look and the friends I have (or don't have). This is it. The only one.” Crazy stuff. Almost broke down crying. Is this why they tell me to get therapy? I don't want to go. Because that's a whole mess. What are they gonna say? Fix up yourself. Be happy who you are. Take care of yourself and you'll find someone eventually. I know that already. They're gonna ask me all sorts of nonsense. And I'll give a “wrong” answer and then it's over. Who knows what they might do to me.
Yours Truly,
[Redacted]