[No] Game Night
I'm a coward. But you already knew that.
Brief background. I go to my friend's place for game night every couple of weeks. They invite a handful of people, probably 6-8 total on any given day. I've been thinking about asking [one of the people there] if they want to get together for some time now. I thought about doing it, but didn't. I had a whole plan. Lines. Timing. Setting. Everything.
I went through all of the setup just to bail at the last possible second. I said the lines. I got the reaction I was expecting... and then instead of actually going through with it, I just said goodbye. As soon as the car door closed, I just shook my head in shame. An hour drive home to "clear my mind", yet here I am, mind as opaque as ever.
Maybe I'll ask [redacted's friend] again and see what they say? Perhaps they can give me encouragement, maybe drop some hints to [redacted], or just tell me that it's a bad idea.
IDK. I just don't want to ruin game night for everyone else by making it awkward when I get rejected. Is there even a good outcome for the rest of the game night group? If it does work, and we go out and have a nice time and everything goes the way I fantasize, then I feel like it could still be awkward for the rest of the group. But I don't really think I have to worry about that. It'll never get that far. OK no more rambling.
Yours Truly,
[Redacted]