Manifest a Marriage
I was talking with my friend recently and mentioned to her about a date that I had gone on that didn't result in any further dates. I was lamenting how hard it was to get a date to begin with and made a comment to the effect of "I just don't think I'll ever be married at this point". She said something that truly made me step back: "Everyone can get married if they want to. The only people who don't get married are people who decide not to."
Woah. I thought I'd heard some wild takes before, but this one had me stunned. Everyone? Really? I wasn't about to explain the concept of incels to this woman. I didn't know what to say. So I just gave a half-hearted disagreement and kinda let it go. Later, when I had some time, I thought back to this to try and see what could possibly make her think that. The closest I came to a conclusion is just that she's a beautiful woman who could easily have any man she desired. The idea of not having options for dating/marriage is totally outside of her lived experience. She may be single now, but that's a choice. She turns away her matches on dating apps, the men approaching her in bars, etc. But they're always there, waiting to be called into service when she feels she's recovered from her recent breakup.
Back to the conversation, she wasn't done. Her next idea was astrology and "manifesting"... I don't know how to tell you this, but the moon doesn't work for you. The stars were gonna be there whether you were born a Sagittarius or a Pisces. Combining that with simply "thinking positive thoughts", doesn't just bend the universe to your will. I'm not denying the effect that having a positive outlook can have on your life. But it's not a magic spell. It only works internally. It can make you feel better about a situation, but it cannot make a situation change. No amount of manifestery can make the rain stop, but having positive thoughts can help you refocus yourself to accommodate the rain.
So yea, I believe my friend has a classic case of "luxury beliefs". When your life is "easy" (historically speaking) you can afford to have your understanding of the world be totally disconnected from the reality. Believing everyone gets a happy ending to their story makes you feel better. And why shouldn't they think that's how it works? Most of the beautiful people they know from university DO get happy endings. At least... on Instagram it sure looks like they do. So they believe it, and tell it to other people, and I'm sure they tell their kids the same thing. (I promised myself I wouldn't make this one political, but you can imagine the implications this would have.)
Yours Truly,
[Redacted]