Male Loneliness (Bandwagon Post)
I'm a filthy bandwagon poster.
That being said, here's what I wanted to contribute. Saw a couple of posts about "male loneliness". The now-deleted post⤻ I want to weigh in on was talking about how men feel "entitled" to women and now that women can have their own lives, they aren't actually gonna get any women without having more to offer than just "having a job".
This isn't meant to be an insult to the author because I'm fairly certain we are all guilty of this same... IDK if it's a fallacy, but I guess shortcoming of our abilities to accurately assess what goes on in the lives of others that aren't like us. Sure, the author may be an urban, smarter/more educated than average, 6 figure salary earning, independent woman. The people they interact with are probably similar to them. But here's the question then. What do you think the average guy in Marietta, Ohio has to offer a woman? He probably works a mundane job earning $28,000 a year. Doesn't travel much. Likes to root for the local sports team. Maybe he enjoys playing sports. Maybe he enjoys playing Xbox. He has a few buddies from high school, none of which went to college. Coworkers would say he's a good guy.
"So, unless you’re coming into a woman’s life with actual value, deep character, healing, accountability, kindness, and strength, then what exactly are you bringing?"
I'd be surprised if 10% of people (both men and women) have these characteristics, especially to the extent the author is probably imagining. What even are half of these?
"Actual value"
Damn, IDK if I would admit to thinking these people have no value.
"Deep character"
Sorry, average people live average lives, which are boring. Not everyone has complex motivations and goals. Some (most) people just live day to day.
"Healing"
Do you need men to be a nurse? A therapist? I actually don't understand what this point is meant to be.
"Accountability, kindness, and strength"
Those are legit. People should be accountable for their actions. Those actions should be kind. And having strength (mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, etc) is key to having a successful life of your own.
I'm not saying any of this to denigrate either the author or the average Marietta, Ohio resident. I only bring this up to point out how we could stand to be a little more sympathetic to the people who (by the author's own admission) are struggling to adapt to the world.
"But the rest of us? We are sovereign. Whole. And done with mediocrity."
You realize that the vast, overwhelming majority of people (again, both men and women) are mediocre? Average? To say that because someone failed to reach some level of complexity/character development that they deserve loneliness... IDK, just feels like a bad way to fix things.1
And if the reaction to this info is "This average guy doesn't bring enough to the table and as a result, does not deserve to have a girlfriend/wife/family"... then do a bit of extrapolating for me. To say that the vast majority of people are undeserving of relationships is a dark and scary world you wish to live in. How can you hold that opinion while claiming it's your enemies that are trying to divide us?2
Yours Truly,
[Redacted]
Footnotes:
Unfortunately, I get the sense that most people don't actually want to fix things. They seem to view the current male loneliness problem as... revenge in a way. But that's a topic for another post (which I may or may not get around to writing).↩
Shameless link to a previous post of mine. Gotta drive traffic somehow.↩