Lies
Everything in my life has been built on lies. For 7.5 years, I lived the lie that was thinking [redacted] loved me. Now I'm setting myself up to live a lie that I enjoy/want to do [redacted] work. That I find it âfulfillingâ and ârewardingâ. I lied to [redacted] (via omission) for months about my feelings. For as long as I can remember, I lied to everyone I talked to about being happy/ok/satisfied with how my life is going. I lied to my doctor for a while about being sexually inactive. I lied to my friends when asked about how I was doing after the breakup. I lied to myself that I was living life the way I wanted to and that I was on the right track. I've told more lies in the form of jokes than I can even possibly begin to count/remember. I know there's more but these are the only ones I can think of now. Either way. I'm just the scum of the earth. I lie so much it's awful. And it's not like... little lies. It's stuff that is/was foundational to who I am and how I'm living my life.
Yours Truly,
[Redacted]