Games and Prizes of the Stupid Variety
You know the saying: Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes.
I'm quite a risk averse person, so I rarely collect these unwanted trophies. Yesterday, I claimed my first in a long while. I was at a friend's house and as we were wrapping up and saying our goodbyes, my friend went to light a candle. She grabbed a book of matches and complained how hard it was to strike them since they were so floppy. I decided that I would teach her how to light a match the way I learned a while ago. Basically, you put your thumb much further up and use that to apply pressure. Then, once struck, simply move your thumb down away from the flame. Simple really. I've done this dozens of times. Well, I guess my thumb was a bit wet (perhaps from my parting sip of a cold drink), because as I struck, the match lit, but was stuck to my thumb for a split second and I ended up pulling it down into my closed hand as I tried to move my thumb.
For failing to adequately assess the conditions, I earned myself two blisters from second degree burns on my fingers. I don't know what was more painful: the burns or the embarrassment. Once the flames were extinguished and the pain started, I felt sick. No one laughed, but the judgement was palpable. Especially painful was the fact that there was someone there who I have some sort of... liking for. This was my chance to be cool in front of them and I blew it. Not just failed, but catastrophic fumbling. I drove an hour home not just in physical pain, but in emotional and mental anguish.
Here's the part where I'm supposed to say "lesson learnt", but I don't know what lesson I actually want to learn here. The obvious "don't play with matches" lesson is so low-hanging it's underground. But the other lesson is maybe I should collect more of these stupid prizes. Playing stupid games can be fun. And at least I have a story now. And maybe the person I was trying to impress... well they're obviously not impressed, but they'll remember this and it can be a good laugh. "Any publicity is good publicity"? IDK.
Yours Truly,
[Redacted]