FO(H)MO
It's not just the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO), it's the Fear of Having Missed Out (FOHMO).
I don't suffer from the social media induced FOMO that many people do nowadays. I never had any social media growing up, it wasn't available, and once it was I never really saw the appeal, and so I've avoided the danger on that front. Instead, I've got the past tense version of FOMO: FOHMO. It's not that I'm afraid of missing out on things going on now or coming up, I know the lives my friends lead and that they invite me to events so I don't feel left out. It's more that I see all the things in the past that I missed out on and will never get another shot at. Things from school and university. Having a partner through university. Moving out at a younger age. Getting married at a younger age. Sure there's a non-zero (although every day it gets closer to zero) chance that I get married in the future. But I can never have been married to my high school sweetheart like some of my friends are. I can never go back to being 15 and finding a partner to spend my life with. I missed my chance.
FOMO is often attributed to just being something that people on social media suffer from. And that just getting offline will make it better. You'll realise that normal people like you live normal lives like you. But FOHMO is real life induced. I'm not seeing a curated depiction of people's vacations that is making me jealous, it's seeing their mundane lives that makes me sad, because I don't even have that. It's their regular job, with their regular spouse, and their regular kid. And it's the realisation that what I'm seeing is a culmination of years of decisions and luck that has passed me by. That I'll never be able to get to their position, even if I turn it all around starting now, because I'll be so much older by then.
IDK, I'm just rambling again.
Yours Truly,
[Redacted]