Emotion Permanence
I just don't know what to do anymore. I spent all day today at home, on the computer, doing nothing. Burning time. Just getting through the day. For what? So I can waste another day and go back to work tomorrow. When does it end? Or better question, when does it start?
I just feel so empty. That I live my life just because I have to. I feel like a child with no object permanence. But instead of things disappearing from my mind unless I can see them, it's emotions. I don't feel any baseline level of joy or... really anything, unless it's actively happening to me. When I'm hanging out with friends, it's fun and I feel good, but once I come home, I feel nothing. Today I haven't felt a single emotion. ______________ There's the graph. Couple this with my abysmal memory (post on this), and it's just awful. I can't even remember what it's like to be happy. To love someone. It doesn't even make sense to me anymore.
And if you don't know what you want, how can you ever expect to get it?
Yours Truly,
[Redacted]